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#destinationunknown
"Are you limited by your Challenges" or "are you challenging your limits"

I Live with a Neuromuscular / Spinal Condition and plan to 'Challenging My Limits' 2017 my goal was the Lake Zurich 26km Marathon Swim.

Where do I go from here? #destinationunknown

The problem with being strong .....

DragonRunnerby DragonRunnerFeb 16th 2015
Don’t really know where the time has gone since my last posting, which was at the end of 2014. I know I have set myself some gaols for this year which at the time I knew were going to be a challenge (would not be worth setting if they were not), but I did not know then how much of a challenge. The one thing I was not planning on setting these challenges was my own mind. They say depression creeps up on you, well it certainly has.

This is going to be a surprise for some who read this and know me. You may be asking the question, what does he have to be depressed about and I honestly cannot answer. I am in full time employment and on the whole enjoy my work, I belong to a very supportive triathlon club (Celtic Tri) and actually coach a few session each week without even thinking about it. The goals I have set I believed to be within my reach even with the extra strain that will put on my Neuromuscular condition. If I was to come up with a reason the only one I can think of, is that depression is a side effect of the pain medication I take. So this will have to be another area that I will have to address as the benefits far outweigh stopping taking the medication. For now, at least I have realised it and have a chance to do something before it’s effects get to strong.

One reason I have chosen to discuss this here is that you do not like in most sports hear about depression in triathlon. It may be because people do not like to discuss the subject, so just to highlight it may help some others come to terms with what is going on. So for me I am not going to think about this as a weakness, but as another strength that is within me and by using sport as an “out” for the feelings. What does not help the lack of quality information about my Neuromuscular / Spinal Cord condition such as any information on how is the aches and pains I feel daily. So most of the time I am on my own and not able to bounce anything off those around me. The following is a quote which I came across whilst researching the topic is so true “the problem with being strong is that nobody bothers to ask if you’re hurt” (unknown).

I have not ruled out that one of the reason on how I feel at present is because of a cheap shot on my condition, made to me recently. This was by a person who is still unknown to me, as they were only braver enough to say a very quick derogatory statement over a withheld number phone call - one day we will meet. It was a bit of a shock that even in this day and age of the negative feelings of some people to “challenged athletes” (for me made worst as my condition is not visible to others). So to add in another taboo condition, it will be interesting to see how people are going to react. I may find myself more isolated only time will tell, at least it’s in the open. 2889

Back to my goals for the year, what I have set myself to do is - to cover 2015 miles during the year, which will be made of 365 miles of swimming, 1500 miles on the bike and 150 miles running (this will be the most I have run in a year). Also I plan two virtual goals which are to walk from “John O’Goats to Lands End” (which will take the miles up to 2889 miles), along with a “climb of Everest”. These will be by adding together all walking I do during the day and on days when my body refuses to swim, bike or run, the Everest part is the amount of climbing up the various hills and mounds I encounter along the way. There will be a few events that I have enter to help me along the way, which included the Outlaw Half, Bridge to Bridge Swim and a one length swim of Lake Windermere to name just a few.

As for my training as present the school report would be - “needs to do better”. When I actual get myself to train, I find that I am having a big problem with my breathing after a really short time (minutes), to the point that I have to stop. At present I am putting this down to a lack of fitness, but one side of me is starting to query this, and yet again I have no one to turn to that has a knowledge of Thoracic Myelopathy and its effects. This is another area that is adding to what I discussed above. It is just one viscous circle. if anyone has any information that could help I would be happy to talk to you. With the spring only a few weeks away, hopefully things will get better when we have the longer days and warmer weather :-)

When I am reading this back it does appear to be very negative but once again for me it is helping with the release of any tension, so I apologies if anyone has felt uncomfortable and thank you for getting this far - it’s good to talk so to speak. As always thank you to those around me who have given me their support, there are not enough words I can say to thank you.

I have a few months to get myself into a position were taking my place on the start line at some events will become a reality so as Ironman say “Limits, what limits”. Please don’t forget to say “hello” as you pass me on your training runs / rides you do not know how much that is appreciated.
 
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